Don’t be the cause of a child’s outburst
The neighbourhood playground — every child’s paradise and every parent’s hell. Just ask this mama who is trying to stop her sweat from soaking her tudung (Malay for headscarf or hijab).
But anything for the children.
So what did I do when on one occasion, my eldest child, Maira (3 years old), wanted to go down the double slide with her friend, but there were two women hogging one slide with an infant child?
Being the Mimamoru (a Japanese preschool approach of observing and caring with minimal intervention) parent that I am, I watched and waited to see whether Maira would just move along to another activity or if the adults would let her have her turn.
After a few seconds of Maira showing her intention to go down the slide with her friend, and seeing that the women did not make an effort to move the infant, I could see my daughter’s face slowly changing from a smile to a scowl. It was not pretty.
Still, the two adults did not budge. They also insisted that Maira and her friend use the available slide one after another, which was not the plan they had in mind.
This mama was not having any of that. I would think I would have to seek cooperation from children, not adults.
I approached the two women and asked them to let Maira have her turn on the slide. And guess what? It took less than a second for her to reach the bottom of the slide. I don’t think the women were too happy though — as they shot glances and muttered under their breaths as I walked away.
But what’s a mother to do? Had I not intervened, Maira’s scowl would have just turned into a full-blown tantrum that would be harder to handle.
At a busy playground with children of different ages running up and down the slides, is hogging it for one baby reasonable behaviour?
Imagine your 13-floor neighbour holding the elevator by sticking an object in between the doors when you are waiting for the lift at the lobby (true story).
Why so inconsiderate?
Being at the playground does not mean you stop being a grown-up and discard all common sense. Parents should take note of these 5 rules of playground etiquette:
- Don’t be greedy
Just because your child likes the swing, it doesn’t entitle him to use it as his own personal jet. The other children in the queue also like the swing as much as him. If he throws a tantrum, well too bad, that’s how life is. Take it as an opportunity to teach your child about courtesy. - Don’t be a thrillseeker
Adhere to the age limit of the playground structure. There’s nothing more dangerous than a 2-year-old flying off a big kid’s slide, or a 12-year-old breaking a toddler’s seesaw. - Put away your phones and gadgets
It’s sad to see a child ask his father to push him on the swing only to be ignored because his father is busy with his phone. Also, pay attention and supervise that your child is safe. - Be responsible for your child
Let’s face it, our children are not always angels. Some kids can just be rough and aggressive. Don’t be an enabler to a potential bully. Be ready to intervene when necessary. - Talk nicely
Unless you’re looking for a fight, anytime another child does something dangerous, all it takes is for you to reason with them calmly and ask for their cooperation. If they repeat the action, speak to their parents about it. If it’s your child, do not shout like a maniac from across the playground.
It would seem that my neighbours behave like a bunch of adult children and I would have to move, but a few days after the playground incident, another neighbour turned things around by asking her older children to give way to my slow and cautious younger daughter, Marissa, who is 17 months old, at the toddler playground. Her children did as they were told without hesitation.
I think I found a new neighbourhood friend.
